RE:Lor Blitzer's News Bulletins
(Date Posted:02/27/2008 1:23:28 PM)
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All the News for all that's Cute CWC NEWS UPDATE FORMER CULT MEMBER BREAKS MONTH LONG SILENCE! CWC News has obtained an exclusive interview with one of the only cult members that have left the cult. “…Hell, ya I am mad, but now after rumors of a sinister dark forces possibly taking over the cult… well…I just had to come forward. I mean really have you seen the latest post for christ sake, it is pure evil!” This just in from former cult member “stupid head”, we have changed his name for this report to protect his privacy, but most cult members remember him as “jer”, again not his real name. “…will the madness ever end, I haven’t eaten in days, clothes and dishes are piling up, our business is suffering, our kids hardly recognize their mother anymore…or should I say “LOR” ha…I had to get out for the kids and now apparently for our own safety…” “…well… ya… the sex has been better, but that is only so I will keep quiet and leave her alone…nothing is free where this cult is concerned” “…Ya I think the cult may be in danger, I mean really…”Milord”…no one even knows if he really exists…it could all just be Evil Twin…I think the cult could be standing at the gates of Hades and if they are I hope their ready to greet the likes of Meg from Canada because I think this is their future!” “…Hey Wait! WHAT’S THIS!...GET OFF ME…A STRAIGHT JACKET…SHE IS THE CRAZY ONE…NOT ME…HER…THEM…ALL OF THEM…LET ME GOOOO!” Looks like we haven’t heard the last of this story! We will keep you updated on this fast breaking story as we get more information! Lor Blitzer – Signing off
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All the News for all that's Cute
CWC NEWS UPDATE
WHERE ARE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD COMING FROM?
“Where are the voices in my head coming from telling me to only watch CWC…?”
asks one of many cult members who have found themselves unable or unwilling to perform everyday tasks due to their ever growing obsession with Milord.
There have been strange reports, coming into the news room, that most if not all normal day to day activity has stopped.
Business has stopped, schools closed, parents have stopped taking care of their Madison’s and worst of all even the oil companies are starting to feel the pinch.
“No one is driving anywhere!” Wept one oil Barron to CWC News after oil prices started to plummet.
Cult member question if this is not the workings of, what they have come to refer to as, Milords evil twin and/or arch nemesis “Psycho Towel” the kittynapper.
Cult member “KB” who has had to use many aliases in the past, to protect her from being targeted by DARK and sinister anti-cute organizations, commented again on Milord’s evil twin and was quoted as saying
“He has a twisted, yet brilliant mind...”! ... I think there are subliminal messages that have stopped me from doing anything remotely constructive!”
Long standin cult member Debbie, "Whatever it is.....they are running here too. Where are these messages coming from? I think I smell another news story!
Well, cult member Debbie, better known as Elmooo and mother to Madison and Wyatt, you might just be right!
We will keep you updated on this fast breaking story as we get more information!
Lor Blitzer – Signing off